Grieving a mother....

It is with heavy hearts that we share the news that my mother-in-law, Ruby, has lost her battle with stage 4 COPD and cancer. While we were aware that this was a possibility, the loss has still taken us by surprise. Ruby had completed her treatment and was back home, showing signs of improvement. We hoped we had more time with her, but one day, she was just gone.

This loss has been especially challenging for my husband. His grief is not only for the mother he lost but also for the difficult memories of his childhood, which was marked by trauma, abuse, and neglect. Despite the pain of those early years, my husband carries a deep love for his mother, understanding that she did the best she could under the circumstances of her own life. Their relationship was complex, filled with love yet strained by the past. Thankfully, through his recovery process, he was able to confront and work through the hurt of his past. This allowed him to build a new, healthier relationship with his mother as an adult, one based on understanding, forgiveness, and mutual respect.

However, this journey of healing has not been easy. His extended family has, at times, added to the difficulty, creating tension and making it harder for him to find peace in his grief. As he mourns his mother, he also struggles with feelings of anger and frustration, trying to navigate these emotions while honoring the love he has for her.

Amidst this challenging time, we have been incredibly grateful for the support of our ARM and recovery family. Being so far from home, we’ve felt the weight of this loss even more heavily. But our recovery community has gone above and beyond to help us navigate this painful process. They’ve cooked meals, delivered drinks, and provided us with the emotional support we desperately needed when we could hardly focus on life. Their kindness and generosity have held us up when we felt like we might fall apart, and for that, we are deeply thankful.

Tomorrow, we will gather for Ruby’s service. We hope for a peaceful day, free from any ill will or negative behavior, as we come together to remember her life. Rest in peace, Ruby. You will be missed dearly 💔.